The bad news this year is the Fun House is gone. That's right - it's boarded up, and Lagoon management isn't sure yet what will occupy that "prime piece of amusement park land" - but it won't be another fun house.
The reason, according to Dick Andrew, Lagoon spokesman, is the simple problem of public liability. "We never had really serious accidents in the Fun House, but it attracted a patter of nuisance kinds of things." The insurance people kept advising that a fun house was expendable, and they finally won out.In recent years, it had already become essentially an attraction for little kids. The big scary barrel was taken out. Anything considered big or dangerous or fun gradually lost its place. It was nothing dramatic or startling that caused its demise, says Andrew - "It's time had just come and gone."
That is essentially the same sad story with a lot of other rides that have had their day. Like the old Ferris wheel. Andrew says it was located "very near our big wheel and there was just no comparison." He was talking about the Skyscraper, a 150-foot-wheel with gondolas that carry 6 people in each one for a spectacular view.
It is this year's big attraction.
So don't count on another Ferris wheel. Or another Hall of Mirrors where you could see all kinds of crazy versions of yourself and then have trouble finding your way out.
Or another Wild Mouse, designed back in 1965 to shake up passengers more than the roller coaster, the Whip and the
Dodgem put together. Or another Rotor Ride, an unwieldy barrel designed in 1972 to revolve at high speeds, with the centrifugal force pinning the rider against its side as the floor descended.
It's old hat. Like the Wishing Well, the Rocket ride, the Showboat, the Octopus - even the swimming pool that was famous for "water fit to drink." Andrew says "Lagoon used to be synonymous with swimming - but then swimming pools popped up everywhere - and with the advent of water slides not too many people would go to the pool."
Even the old Patio Gardens ballroom where you and I used to bring our dates to see Ella Fitzgerald, the Four Freshmen, Johnny Mathis, Nat King Cole - and the incomparable big bands - is representative of another era.
As Andrew remembers it, "Every Friday and Saturday night we had the top name attractions in the country. With the advent of rock 'n' roll, that's what the kids were listening to. We found that the crowds it attracted were not compatible with what we were trying to do at Lagoon with our family emphasis."
The new groups were also too expensive, and so the Patio Gardens were replaced with a roller skating rink - then a big game center. Andrew says there are still a handful of amusement park ballrooms around the country, but he sees no evidence that the big bands are coming back.
The bottom line for Lagoon is the ability to stay competitive in an enterprise that dates back to 1897 when a swampy meadow became an amusement park. It was part of a national trend beginning in the late 1890s with picnic parks and simple merry-go-rounds, developed by traction companies trying to encourage Sunday business for their streetcars.
As glamorous rides took the place of the more simple pleasures, the amusement park business took off - including Lagoon. That's why the management still keeps its eye out for that new ride or concession that will pique public interest. That's why the Skyscraper was opened this year and that's why they decided to combine in one ticket the price of the Water Park with an all-day ride pass. That decision, says Andrew, is what "caught the excitement of the public."
So in spite of the absence of many familiar and beloved rides, Andrew expects the same kind of banner year from a Disneyland-starved Utah public that loves Lagoon. He doesn't recall "any kind of groundswell for a comeback" of any of the rides that have bitten the dust.
"If there was a groundswell for a comeback for anything that disappeared, believe me it would be back in a flash. We work to please the public."
Keep that in mind - as you wax sentimental for the Fun House, the Wild Mouse and the Patio Gardens. Do I detect at this very minute the ground swelling beneath us?